Survival

I've been told that in order to write a successful blog one must write articles that others will be interested in reading. Well okay, I'm game. Just what are other people interested in? I only know myself. I'm not that interesting, but I do know myself. Obviously, I'm interested in art, but that's narrow. My interests usually go with the flow of others. Aren't we all influenced in many ways by each other? Who really painted the first rose?

My interests these days are in how to survive. Because I've been suffering from pneumonia for the past month I am interested in more than financial survival, but the physical kind as well. I'm never sick. I don't like being sick. To me, losing a day is tragic. After a few life threatening situations I find that each minute I'm aware of living, is precious to me. I hate losing time because of sickness. I can't sleep during the day and I rarely sleep more than 6 hours at night. I know that time is relative, but even though I never wear a watch the time does seem to fly by with or without it.

Survival, interesting concept. Because we are alive, does that mean we are surviving or is there a deeper meaning to the word survival? The dictionary states that survival is a continuance beyond the life of another; any ancient use, custom, or belief continuing to the present day (Webster, 1962). Then there is survival of the fittest. That makes me think of President Kennedy and his fitness program. (I have no idea where that came from, but it did.)

Am I just surviving or is my life making a difference? Will my art survive me? Will you know me because of my art? I never do anything with ease. That's something I know about myself. If I type I have to be the fastest. If I study I have to get the best grade, know the most. It's never been a competition against another. I've somewhere in my past found the need to better myself with each day. Push to beat myself. Being who I am I've psychoanalyzed myself to death. This drive comes from the fact that my parents never expected me to do well. I was considered not extremely smart and C's were just fine. It's not their fault. They'd never heard of dyslexia and I didn't know I had it until I was 30 and put through a weeks worth of testing at the University of Nevada, Reno. They wanted to know what skills I had and what I would excel in before they admitted me. I found out I wasn't stupid and I was extremely dyslexic. I was also pergnant, which was an even bigger surprise, but that's for another time. I did find out I was interested in painting from those tests. I must have known deep inside as a small child and all through my growing up years that I wasn't really stupid. I struggled at reading and that was explained away because I had been deaf when they were teaching reading. But I pushed myself and I really liked the way it felt.

I want to be the best. I know this is a very high hurdle to glide over, but it's the honest truth. Why else would anyone do anything if it weren't to achieve greatness? What would be the point? If I don't make it into the group of the best at least I will be able to say I gave it my all. Right now with the economy as it is, I'm sure most of us out there painting are being looked down at as lazy because we don't GET A JOB. Make some money.

I want to survive, but I'm stubborn. I want to survive beyond money. I want my spirit to survive, too. This is considered selfish now in this world we live in. It's not really socially accepted to actually like what you do for a job. When I get well, which I'm sure will be very soon (I'm practicing positive thinking), I'm going to GET A JOB other than painting. It's the right thing to do to help my family financially survive. I do have skills. Yep, I can type 150 wpm, unfortunately. My heart won't be in it, but I'll fake it. I'll push myself to be the best at whatever I can do to make money. I'd much rather sell a painting, but I have no control over that other than offering the work to buy. My heart will be in front of my easel with my favorite white sweatshirt, legs crossed leaning into a canvas filled with potential. I would love to live in a world where art was considered a job, but it isn't. Somewhere in all of this chaos I will find a balance. I must for my own survival. What is survival for you?

Balance and Being An Artist

Today I want to talk about balance. It's always been important to me. I'm not sure why. Maybe because I'm a freak of nature and anbidextrous, but I've always considered balance in all aspects of my life. If there is no balance in a situation, then that situation needs to be tweeked in some way.Okay, I'll get to the point. I know I'm rambling around here. I'm just trying to work this out. I'm a daughter, sister, wife, mother, grandmother who is an artist. I can hear you now. Yes, in a perfect world I would love to say I'm an artist who also just happens to be a daughter, sister, wife, mother, grandmother, but I'm a realist and there is no perfect world. I know who I am. I am an artist. But the fact that I am the daughter, sister, wife, mother, grandmother begs that I put people first. Actually it screams that I find a balance.How do I make this happen? You know what I'm talking about. How do I make myself stand out, be seen, recognized as the ARTIST if my LIFE requires that I be FIRST the daughter, sister, wife, mother, grandmother? I don't want to hear from those that say I just need to put myself and my art first. There is no balance in that anymore than there is balance in my reality. Does it take an unbalanced life to be successful? I could say that, yes, it does take an unbalanced life to be successful. I look at successful artists and I see someone paying the bills at least prior to that success. I remember talking to a potter who was set up next to me at an outdoor fine art show in Tahoe, CA. He had a beautiful set up for the shows and he worked as a potter full time, but he only sold 4 bowls all weekend. It took me three days of friendly conversation to find out that his wife was the president of a local bank. He admitted that if he hadn't had the support of his wife, there would be no way that he could be sitting there selling his pottery. I want to know how everyone else is doing it. What sacrifices have you made or someone else has made for you so that you can pursue your art? For those of you who have found balance, share. Let me know how you did it.

Signature Style Continued From Sue Smith's blog

Sue Favinger Smith is a professional artist who began her art career at the age of 50. She writes Ancient Artist: Developing an Art Career After 50, a blog dedicated to empowering artists seeking to reinvent themselves at mid-life. You can subscribe by visiting http://ancientartist.typepad.com./

I wanted to put your information up first because you started this! I left a comment on your blog, but it reminded me of something that affected me profoundly that I'd like to share with all of you about the subject of signature style.

I was asked to bring my work to a gallery in Santa Fe, NM. She had seen the work online and wanted me to show in her gallery. This was my first offer since working in oils and I was very excited and nervous at the same time. Being a "you never know so be prepared" type of person, I also brought some watercolors along for her to consider. I got to the gallery, unloaded all 16 large oil paintings and waited for her approval. I was nervous, but she had said she wanted my work so I assumed she would just pick out the ones she wanted to show, I'd sign the contract and be on my way. I wasn't prepared for her extensive critique which later I was told by another artist was a huge compliment since most galleries don't give free critiques.

She said that my paintings weren't finished, that I painted my oils the way I would use watercolor. This, of course, was due to my lack of knowledge in the medium. She said some nice words and gave me some encouragement, but basically, they weren't what she wanted. She was extremely professional and very nice. As I was packing up all my very large paintings I mentioned to her in passing that I had brought some of my watercolors if she was interested in seeing them. I figured I'd come all this way, I might as well lay it all out there. She took a look at the top painting and asked her assistant to get them all out of the van and handed me a contract to sign. I signed the contract, left the paintings, loaded up my oils and I was back on the road.

The tears started to fall. I was in such an emotional turmoil. I just couldn't figure out how to feel about any of it. I was happy to have a gallery in Santa Fe, thrilled that she wanted my watercolors, but hurt by the rejection of my oils. I was reminded of what my artist friend said who told me how fortunate I was to have been asked when so many other artists spend years trying to get a foot in the door and the fact that I was invited was such a compliment.

This is where the baggage comes into play. Here I am 57 years old and feeling the same way I felt at 8 when I was so excited to show my Mother the drawings I had just done. It never occurred to me that I would be punished for drawing a female body. I wasn't allowed to draw after that and it had a profound affect on my life. I didn't pick up another pencil until I was 30. Baggage is a bitch! The other emotion was because I loved those watercolors. They were my favorites and I already missed them. Crazy right?

When I got home I had to deal with the critique. It was important for me to accept her words of wisdom and apply them to my work. For the next 6 weeks I struggled to do what she suggested. Use more paint. I called it the glob effect. I just couldn't do it. I ruined so many paintings trying to do what she felt was a true oil painting.

When I was contacted by another gallery in Texas you can imagine the apprehension I felt. Driving all the way to Texas with my paintings just knowing that this gallery owner would say the same thing. But she didn't. She loved my way of painting. She said that it was new and interesting and wanted to know how I used my oils to create the watercolor effect. She accepted me into her gallery and took 9 of my paintings.

This is what I've learned from these experiences. Okay, so I'm too sensitive. I can't help it. I'm extremely connected to my art. It's a part of me. Yes, I need to be able to accept constructive criticism, but it is only one point of view. It did totally mess with my head for quite a while, but the information was without a doubt very valuable and I've integrated it into my work to a point.

Not everyone is going to like what I do, but as I've always said, I need to be authentic, true to myself. Because I am a self-taught artist, I'm not influenced by the traditional way of painting. Right or wrong and I don't think there is a right or wrong, it's what my work looks like. It's what I do. This must be what Sue Smith refers to as a Signature Style.

Thank you Sue for this mind opening dialogue.

On the Subject of Style

My comment on the discussion of style by "Ancient Artist: Developing an art career after 50":

This subject has come up with me often, as well. I have been told by "those who know" that I have a personal style and that this is essential to become a collected artist. I don't see it, but I'm real happy others do if that's what it takes to be considered an ARTIST. I just paint. It's that simple. I can't find any cohesion with my watercolors and my oils, but I love both mediums. My pen and inks are nothing like my oils and watercolors, but they are still MY WORK. So, I would say that those "Who make the rules" have done most artist's a disservice. Being an artist lends itself to being free and unconventional. So telling us that we need to find our signature is like telling an ant not to build an underground den. I say just keep doing what feels good and there will always be someone out there who wants to share your den.

New School Year

This is the time of year when I reflect on lessons I've been given from the classes I've purposely or inadvertantly enroled in and decide which classes I need to further my education.

My class schedule was heavy for 2008. I took "Caring for Injured Mother 101", Caring for Stroke Victim Father 102", "Learning How to Emotionally Handle Declining a Wonderful Opportunity Due to Lack of Funds" (that was a three part class), "Galleries and How They Can Teach You To Be More Patient", "When To Say No" and "Where To Go From Here". Great classes with lots of opportunities to learn and apply the lessons.

I met some great people in my classes which for me is usually the best part of going to school. My grades were average, probably due to the class load, but I really learned a lot. The important part of education is taking the learned knowledge and applying it to your life and career.

This year I've enrolled in "Not Accepting Failure", "How To Have A Millionaire's Attitude with Limited Funds" and "Balancing Family and Career and Still Making the Cut". I haven't talked with my counselor yet, but I'm going to try and keep my class schedule low. She might have a few more classes she thinks I might need to reach the Master's Program, but I really want to concentrate on better grades.

Well I just got a call from my counselor and she told me I'm going to have to retake "When To Say No", but it's only a 2 credit course so I should be able to fit it into my schedule.

I hope I meet some of you in school this year. It's always such a blast when we can all get together and bounce around our curriculum and cram for those tests. See you in the Class of 2009.

In response to Robert Genn's "Love your Name"

I've had my share of names in this life time. When I started painting I was Weisel. Weisel quickly turned into Weisel-Keisser then just Keisser. Then I moved on to Keisser-Jirik which became Jirik. I took a break from painting, but not name changing. I was glad to skip that next name and go directly into Jirik-Guichu. Alas I have settled permanently on Guichu. My husband is real happy about that, too. There was a time between Jirik and Guichu when I seriously considered changing to O'Malley. I hadn't ever met an O'Malley so I thought it would be safe - thankfully I didn't. I would have ended up with Jirik-O'Malley-Guichu, or maybe Weisel-Keisser-Jirik-O'Malley-Guichu. Talk about an identity crisis. My advise to all female painters is to pick a name and stick with it. Collectors will take you more seriously and your personal life won't be plastered all over your artwork.

2nd Day of my New Year

Today I want to talk about "BE BACKS". A lot of you artists have probably evolved from the weekend fine art shows to dealing only with galleries, but you must be able to remember the "BE BACKS".

In Early December my "FOR SURE" customer said he wouldn't have money for the painting he was buying from me until after December 31st. Okay, my first reaction was, Hum Bug, there goes Christmas. It hadn't flashed at me yet. I still had it in my desperate 'I need that sale' mind set that after Dec. 31st meant January 1, 2009. A few days passed and it hit me. He may be a "BE BACK" kind of guy. (Did you catch that 'may be'? I'm still holding out hope.) I mean really, what does after Dec. 31st really mean? Does it mean January 1st or April 16th or August 21st, 2054?

It wasn't that long ago, (well about 15 years, but who's counting) when I was sitting in a park with my easy-up and paintings taking a tally of how many BE BACKS I had talked to that day. All of the artists would get together at the end of the day and compare lists. I guess you had to be there. It was fun. I would want to say, "when will you be back?" Five minutes, three hours, tomorrow, NEVER!

I had such a tremendous day yesterday. So many incredibly cool people have joined me on Twitter. So I took inventory. Instead of stressing over my BE BACK I can slip over and listen to Mike Dooley, founder of TUT.com remind me that my thoughts become things. Just listening to him makes me driven to think January 1st, 2009 not 2054. After I center my positive thought process I can jump right back into Alyson Standfield's book "I'd Rather be in the Studio". Then I'll go to MCHammer's site and listen to poetic music while I paint.

It's going to be another great day. You have one, too.

Comment on Robert Genn's "Channeling Negative Energy" Dec.12, 2008

Getting together with family isn't my most anticipated endeavor. I'm the one in my family who always wants to make nice. But during the holidays I'm put to the test. Two years ago I did a painting between Thanksgiving and Christmas. My husband finally begged me to take it down. He felt so much anger coming from it that it was distracting and depressing to him. I tried everything I could to cheer it up, but the drama just wouldn't go away. Gesso was my only option. I do think that stress and conflict can produce some powerful work. Perhaps, for many of us, painting is our way of escaping reality. During times of high stress, the strength that it takes to shed it comes out in our work.