Yesterday I was in a cleaning mood. Everyone's always happy when that happens. Of course, I expect a great deal of praise for the beauty that I created. I'm not what you would call a clean freak like my daughter, the nurse, but I do like a clean, picked up environment. The clutter in my head lessens when the house is in order. Today I feel like writing.
I talked about needing a job to help with the downward spiral of our finances. Well, I made an attempt at a temp agency last week. They didn't have any openings. I could probably land one. Prior to being a full time artist, full time faux finisher, full time artist again, I did work in secretarial/management positions. I know this sounds like a huge excuse, but hear me out.
Not to bore you, but I have to give you a bit of a profile so you will fully understand my circumstances. Without it, this wouldn't make sense. We are living literally on the edge. My husband is in the commissions game. He places people in apartments. The apartment communities pay his office a fee and he gets 50%. We're talking maybe $150.00 per client. It takes a whole lot of clients to pay our bills. Prior to my vertigo problem I was bringing in around $25,000 a year from faux finishing plus whatever I made through art sales. We are now unable to pay our income taxes just to mention one issue. So, my getting a job would definitely help our situation. Now to the real problem I have. Just how much does anyone really need.
This is relative, of course, to one's state of mind, position in the community, etc. But, morally, with everyone losing their homes, children starving and living in cars, I have to ask the question. We could lose our home, too. That's a real possibility. But we don't have small children to feed now. Just our two dogs, one cat and a duck that can't fly that lives with us in our pool. So for me to take a job would seem wrong.
If I were to land a job, how many other men and women who have small children to feed would not get that one job available. If you think I'm stretching this theory look at the unemployment numbers and at least double them because they are truly not reflective of how many people have lost their jobs. I really think we all need to do our part in helping. I wouldn't feel right about taking a job that someone more needing of that job would lose.
I know, you ask, "How would you know you had taken it from someone more needing?" I don't. But lets be serious here. I'm not a specialist in biochemistry. Whatever job I would be qualified for could be filled by a lot of people.
What I'm trying to say here is this, what do YOU really need and how much can you live without in order to survive? I have been accused of being too ethical. I'd rather be more ethical than egotistical. There is a lot I can give up and have. I love my home, but it's not the most important aspect of my life. Not anymore. I've taken inventory and found that I could go way down the economic scale and still be very happy. I can only work on a few paintings at one time so my expenses aren't extreme. If all of us would dig deep and realize that there is real need out there, there probably wouldn't be as much need. We are all a family. If giving up an extra income that would make me more comfortable is all I can do to help others, I'm willing to do it. Thank God my husband shares my views, because he has to work very hard to keep us afloat. But he does have a job which is more than a lot of people can say right now.
As I'm sitting here writing this a dove just walked into my room from my patio. How absolutely wonderful is that? I'm talking to him right now and he's just standing here with my cat and two dogs right next to me on the floor. We are all just talking to each other. Life is good.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Good News
This week I have been accepted into the X-Power International Art Show being held at X-Power Gallery in Beverly Hills. They accepted "On The Road To Enlightenment"
The publication of "A Published Gallery" has accepted 6 of my paintings to be featured in this new book.
Good to have good news once in awhile.
The publication of "A Published Gallery" has accepted 6 of my paintings to be featured in this new book.
Good to have good news once in awhile.
On The Topic of Talent
It's Wednesday, I need to start my day, begin some kind of exercise routine, finish whatever chores I MUST DO and allow myself the luxury of painting.
Yet, here I am writing. I started my morning off with Tara Reed's, Art Licensing E-News blog which took me to Annie Salness's blog on "What is Your Creative Habit". Then I found Michael Orwick's blog where he introduces a fabulous 18 minute video http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/453 of Elizabeth Gilbert talking about where talent comes from according to legend. Last, but definitely not least I found myself at Sue Smith's blog where she, too, was talking about talent in her blog "What Does It Take To Be Talented."
Evidently Talent is the topic of the week. I find it ironic because I've been deeply thinking about that same subject for a bit of time now. I will say to all my students that we are all capable of doing everything. If you have the desire to learn something you most certainly have the ability to learn it. I truly believe that God or your higher power would not give anyone the desire without the ability to accomplish the task.
Having said that I am reminded of a student I had years ago who could not see prospective and she had MS so holding the brush was difficult for her. But she wanted to paint and I believed that if she had the desire she would be able to accomplish the art of watercolor. I'm the type of teacher who does not instruct. It makes for an easy work day actually. I just sit my students down, show them the materials they need, how to use the water and paint, give them paper (at the time I was teaching watercolor) and tell them to paint. It's quite a challenge for most people. Especially those who are used to attending classes where they are told what to do or read or write in order to get their degrees. It's the fear that comes over my students when I say, "Just Paint!" that is my hard work as a teacher. I want to jump in and rescue them, but I know that until they win the battle over fear my work is not done. I am happy to say that I have never had a student walk out of my class. And Margo is still painting. She is painting with her talent. She was able to create a style where her lack of prospective worked for her. Along with her beautiful colors and the joy in the realization that she can paint and sell her paintings now gives her great pleasure. Josey is another one who pops to mind. I sat with her for over a week of private watercolor classes before she could conquer her fear of letting go. It was such a joy to see these people open up to the possibility that in their soul there really was an artist just waiting to be discovered and experienced. Is this talent or God granting a prayer?
Elizabeth Gilbert wrote the book "Eat, Pray, Love." In this video she talks about the fears involved with her second attempt at greatness due to the fact that her book has become a national best seller beyond her dreams and how many artist's have left us early because of the demons accompanied with this fear of not being able to live with their talent.
Talent is a word that when I say it or it is said to me creates this deep penetrating caution inside my gut. I'm definitely not comfortable with it. When people say that I'm talented my immediate reaction is to say no I'm not really. This inevitably follows praise which is not my intention at all. I feel embarrassed by the reference as if I don't deserve it or that by thinking I may be talented makes me seem somehow conceited. At the very instance that I feel that stab, I'm confronted with the other feeling of not respecting the gift that has been given to me from God. These are two very conflicting emotions that I struggle with.
I agree with Sue Smith when she talks about going past the fear to reach the next level of accomplishment. If we don't give ourselves that challenge then we can't progress. I'm a living example of that for sure.
You'll be proud of me Sue because I finally overcame one of my gut fears just this week. I completed a nude. (I have attached the painting to the blog. I'm not sure I'm finished, but there it is.) Not a much defined nude, but a nude never the less. I've never been able to do this. I've started, but always painted over it because it made me feel so uncomfortable. If you that are reading have read any of my other blogs you'll remember that I was chastised for painting a nude woman as a child. After writing that blog it occurred to me that I had been affected by that childhood memory more than I had realized and now was the time to deal with it.
Artist's who teach will always be students. This is a fact. I had to take my challenge of "Just Paint" and practice what I preached. Is there talent in all of us or are just a few demonized by this entity? Is the talent from a separate source as Elizabeth talks about? I know I've felt that especially in the painting "On The Road To Enlightenment." It took me months to finish this piece because I had to wait for the next bit of information in order to take it where it wanted to go. Have you had that feeling?
I believe this is the essence of life. It's so simple yet so difficult to assimilate and glide through. How about this: With the desire brings the talent which comes from the faith that you can and this brings us to now. Where ever that now is for each of us individually in the collective consciousness of the universe is the mystery and joy.
I will continue to force myself past my demons. Whether I paint another nude or not is not what is important. The fact that I made myself finish it and felt comfortable with the finished piece is the beauty of life and where I can go now because of that action. Is it talent that ables me to go there? I don't know. Personally, I have decided to take the ancient attitude of talent and accept that it comes from an outside source that joins me in my endeavors.
Yet, here I am writing. I started my morning off with Tara Reed's, Art Licensing E-News blog which took me to Annie Salness's blog on "What is Your Creative Habit". Then I found Michael Orwick's blog where he introduces a fabulous 18 minute video http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/453 of Elizabeth Gilbert talking about where talent comes from according to legend. Last, but definitely not least I found myself at Sue Smith's blog where she, too, was talking about talent in her blog "What Does It Take To Be Talented."
Evidently Talent is the topic of the week. I find it ironic because I've been deeply thinking about that same subject for a bit of time now. I will say to all my students that we are all capable of doing everything. If you have the desire to learn something you most certainly have the ability to learn it. I truly believe that God or your higher power would not give anyone the desire without the ability to accomplish the task.
Having said that I am reminded of a student I had years ago who could not see prospective and she had MS so holding the brush was difficult for her. But she wanted to paint and I believed that if she had the desire she would be able to accomplish the art of watercolor. I'm the type of teacher who does not instruct. It makes for an easy work day actually. I just sit my students down, show them the materials they need, how to use the water and paint, give them paper (at the time I was teaching watercolor) and tell them to paint. It's quite a challenge for most people. Especially those who are used to attending classes where they are told what to do or read or write in order to get their degrees. It's the fear that comes over my students when I say, "Just Paint!" that is my hard work as a teacher. I want to jump in and rescue them, but I know that until they win the battle over fear my work is not done. I am happy to say that I have never had a student walk out of my class. And Margo is still painting. She is painting with her talent. She was able to create a style where her lack of prospective worked for her. Along with her beautiful colors and the joy in the realization that she can paint and sell her paintings now gives her great pleasure. Josey is another one who pops to mind. I sat with her for over a week of private watercolor classes before she could conquer her fear of letting go. It was such a joy to see these people open up to the possibility that in their soul there really was an artist just waiting to be discovered and experienced. Is this talent or God granting a prayer?
Elizabeth Gilbert wrote the book "Eat, Pray, Love." In this video she talks about the fears involved with her second attempt at greatness due to the fact that her book has become a national best seller beyond her dreams and how many artist's have left us early because of the demons accompanied with this fear of not being able to live with their talent.
Talent is a word that when I say it or it is said to me creates this deep penetrating caution inside my gut. I'm definitely not comfortable with it. When people say that I'm talented my immediate reaction is to say no I'm not really. This inevitably follows praise which is not my intention at all. I feel embarrassed by the reference as if I don't deserve it or that by thinking I may be talented makes me seem somehow conceited. At the very instance that I feel that stab, I'm confronted with the other feeling of not respecting the gift that has been given to me from God. These are two very conflicting emotions that I struggle with.
I agree with Sue Smith when she talks about going past the fear to reach the next level of accomplishment. If we don't give ourselves that challenge then we can't progress. I'm a living example of that for sure.
You'll be proud of me Sue because I finally overcame one of my gut fears just this week. I completed a nude. (I have attached the painting to the blog. I'm not sure I'm finished, but there it is.) Not a much defined nude, but a nude never the less. I've never been able to do this. I've started, but always painted over it because it made me feel so uncomfortable. If you that are reading have read any of my other blogs you'll remember that I was chastised for painting a nude woman as a child. After writing that blog it occurred to me that I had been affected by that childhood memory more than I had realized and now was the time to deal with it.
Artist's who teach will always be students. This is a fact. I had to take my challenge of "Just Paint" and practice what I preached. Is there talent in all of us or are just a few demonized by this entity? Is the talent from a separate source as Elizabeth talks about? I know I've felt that especially in the painting "On The Road To Enlightenment." It took me months to finish this piece because I had to wait for the next bit of information in order to take it where it wanted to go. Have you had that feeling?
I believe this is the essence of life. It's so simple yet so difficult to assimilate and glide through. How about this: With the desire brings the talent which comes from the faith that you can and this brings us to now. Where ever that now is for each of us individually in the collective consciousness of the universe is the mystery and joy.
I will continue to force myself past my demons. Whether I paint another nude or not is not what is important. The fact that I made myself finish it and felt comfortable with the finished piece is the beauty of life and where I can go now because of that action. Is it talent that ables me to go there? I don't know. Personally, I have decided to take the ancient attitude of talent and accept that it comes from an outside source that joins me in my endeavors.
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